The Drunken Chronicles

It all started about two weeks into the school year. I knew me and my (old) roommate had contrasting lives and morals, which I was okay with. In applying to the dorms, I was expecting to give and take some (although it seemed like I was giving more than taking at this point), so I tried to keep an open mind and not take anything too personally when it came to my roommate's weekly choices.

Almost every Thirsty Thursday, I would awake to my roommate stumbling into the room during the late hours of the night, drunkenly laughing to her own personal jokes. It was obvious when she was farther gone than other nights. For example, if anyone needs their hair extensions taken out because you're too drunk to get your fingers functioning correctly, I'm your girl. 

She had mentioned to me previously how she talked in her sleep when she was stressed, which didn't really creep me out. I could deal with someone talking in their sleep. Heck, I could deal with people who sleepwalk (which she frequently did as well). There was something, however, that I was not quite accustomed to....

After falling back asleep, I woke up to my roommate babbling incoherencies on her side of the room.

"Go back to sleep," I gently told her, knowing that that was the proper way to deal with sleepwalkers. But, she seemed a different sort of sleepwalker. 

"I just have to go to the bathroom," she argued, turning every which way to apparently find the bathroom. 

"Um, I guess you, I-, uh," I didn't know what to do. Could sleepwalkers go to the bathroom while in the act of sleepwalking? I had a horrible mental picture of her falling back to sleep mid-pee and me having to drag her back to bed. I decided to go for it anyway.

"Well, the bathroom's over there," I tried. I thought about waking her, but knew that different sleepwalkers reacted differently and I wasn't ready for her to wake up and attack me. 

"I know, I just have to go," she kept on. I insisted on her going to the proper bathroom not five steps away, but she was not having it. 

I turned as she was pulling down her pants....

To Be Continued.

Alexis